It’s been a while since I last blogged, so here’s a little update on what’s been going on the last few months…
February: the day finally came – my 99 weeks of funemployment is over. Back to the workforce I go.
March: Odd-jobs to pay rent- Background acting (cool to see famous people be filmed, not-so-cool to make $8/hr, be on set at 6am, and work ridiculously long hours), consumer product testing (cool to make $100/hr, not-so-cool if you need a steady paycheck.)
So, with no other options available and April’s rent approaching, I reluctantly succumbed to rejoining the world of recruiting.
The invitation to hell:
I land an interview for an insurance call center, and I know the second I step foot in the door that I already hate it. My future boss greets me in the lobby, and my first thought is that he is stunningly gorgeous. After opening his mouth, my second thought is that I can’t believe God would waste such impeccably good looks on such a soulless creature.
As soon as we enter the interview room, I can already tell that he’s one of those suits who talks for the pure sake of hearing himself talk. He tells me at least 27 times that his title is CTO – Chief Talent Officer - which is funny because I’m pretty sure that in every other company on the face of the planet, CTO actually refers to Chief "Technology" Officer. Chief also tells me half a dozen times that he lives near me, but that he's actually “over the hill” (i.e. lives in the Hollywood Hills) and that he has a gym inside his house. I am not impressed. Chief is undoubtedly the type of guy who likes big important titles and big expensive merchandise to overcompensate for other “small” things.
Chief calls me and invites me back for a second interview with the CEO, and instructs me to wear a suit. I dust off the dreaded pieces of pinstriped fabric that I haven’t worn in 6 years. Putting it on feels similar to the way I’d imagine it feels to put on an orange jumpsuit right before being sentenced to life in prison. Like superglue on my skin.
The CEO spends the entire interview staring at me like I’m a meal. Chief makes me an offer of more money than I’ve ever made in my life, and even that isn’t enough to instill any enthusiasm. Instead I reply, “cool,” and tell him I can’t start for two weeks, hoping I’ll find something else in the meantime. But with my rent date nearing and the job search process becoming tedious, I decide to give it a shot and see how bad it really is.
